Monday, December 12, 2005

Sex, Chocolate and Zombie Republicans-1998

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What happens when you mail out a chain letter to all your friends, family, and the like? Well, chances are they will ignore it (as they should), and of course, horrible bad luck shall befall them. Worst case scenerio…everyone turns into a zombie Republican.

Silly, naïve Jessica has received an old chain letter, and, like an idiot, does it’s bidding. When things don’t go as she expected and her friends and loved one toss the letters instead of sending them off, each of them falls victim to their worst fear…or general annoyance. Rayna, who prefers her man to stay awake, even if only for a few minutes after a romp in the bedroom, (here’s some of your “Sex”) finds that she can do nothing but immediately put every man she comes into contact with straight to sleepy-time land. Ginger, a health conscious, yoga contorting would-be model, finds she can’t control herself and eats every piece of chocolate within chomping distance, including the baking stuff (yeah, there’s your “Chocolate”.) This results in an onslaught of acne the day before a big birthday card photo shoot. Oh No. There’s more, but I can’t really go over them for lack of space. Bowman (also responsible for the likes of Cybersex Kittens (1995) and Revenge of Mr. Willie) apparently likes a cast of thousands.

But onto the important part. The zombies. It would appear that in addition to the broad-spectrum of bad luck, parents of Jessica’s friends, formally tree-hugging aging hippies, have now become zombie Republicans (and we have finished our title.) And it’s spreading. Can Jessica affect the winds of change in the luck of her friends? Can she keep the world from being overrun with zombie Republicans? I won’t tell, because if I had to sit through 110 minutes to find out, so should you.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy it. As a matter of fact, there’s a certain amount of ridiculousness I appreciate (in all things really, not just my zombie movies.) And Bowman likes to cater to this in heaping mounds of silliness. Not to mention a heart-warming homage to Romero’s Night of the Living Dead (yes, another one) towards the end, where masses of Zombie Republicans swarm the house. The make-up is shoddy, which means it’s not that far a cry from Night ’68. My only complaint, really, is that it just went on…forever. It wouldn’t stop. I am a cheese connoisseur, but after a while, even I was looking at the clock, wondering who the hell his editor was and why didn’t this person speak up when there was still time to do something about it.

Oh well, they can’t all be perfect, now can they?

This movie is an exercise in absurdity. Shot on video with little to no production values, you have to take what you can get. So, my advice would be to relax and take it for what it is. Another piece of advice would be this: If you are a Republican, just don’t watch it. It’ll just hurt your feelings. On the other hand, if you’re also a big fan of the boob shot, by all means, pop this puppy in and try to ignore the liberal one-liners.


Jessica…Jenna Faustino
Rayna…Elyse Ashton
Ginger…Andrea Gillie Kemp
Nicole…Denise Reiser
Frog…Mark Darcourt
Lindsey…Elena St. John
Darlene…Debbie Dobbs
Cindy…Linda Etoh Pine
Kevin…Ted Leavengood


Blogger JigsawX said...


I know this review is over ten years old, but if you did happen to see this comment, I was wondering if you could tell me where you happened to find this film. Seems extraordinarily obscure, and I was looking to obtain it.

Hope this finds you well,

Michael, Beyond the Darkened Door

4:02 PM  

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